Anxiety. She's a real bitch.

Sorry Nana, but yes I said it. Anxiety is a BITCH. She's a Regina George, Heather Chandler, Cersei Baratheon, level bitch. She convinces you that you are worthless and can never amount to anything. She makes you feel like you shouldn't even try to work towards your dreams because you aren't good enough to actually make them happen. She also makes you feel like something is wrong when you should be completely happy with your life. She is the actual worst and she was super loud in my mind this week.

This week was a rough one for me. Just one of those where you have so much to do, but can't find the energy to do it.

So, I was watching my to do list get longer and longer while I wasn't doing anything about it. Bottom line, I was overwhelmed and when I am overwhelmed, in comes anxiety to make it that much worse. Her negative comments start to fill my head and then I feel it. The tightening of my chest, the struggle to breathe normally, and my heart start to beat faster. I was literally sitting still in my class the other day to look down at my FitBit and realize that my heart rate was almost 100 BPM. That's anxiety.

I used to always think that anxiety was only what they showed in the media with the crying, and the not being able to breathe, and the room spinning. I never imagined it would also in the form of pulling at or popping my fingers or playing with my pen constantly while I'm in class or tuning out while trying to listen to someone talk. There are so many signs of someone feeling anxious it's insane, but mine were never severe, so I just assumed it wasn't worth mentioning because it wasn't as bad as some people have it, which is the farthest from the truth. Just because one person has stage 1 cancer and another person has stage 4 cancer, they both still have cancer and it is taken just as seriously for both of them. It's a disease no matter what stage it's in. Well, anxiety is no different. It is a mental illness whether you have extremely serious symptoms of it or seemingly minor symptoms. If it affects your life on a daily basis, it is a serious issue and needs to be addressed.

All in all, know that your feelings are valid and your mental health is important. Also, know that you aren't alone. I thought for the longest time that I was the only one that had these feelings until I opened up and started talking to people about it. Once I did that, I realized how many people are actually affected by anxiety, so it made me feel a little bit better about it. Lastly, know that the voice in your head is wrong. You are worthy, you can make your dreams come true, and you don't have to have it all together all of the time.

Challenge for the week: When anxiety shows her ugly little head, do me and yourself a favor, and punch that bitch in the face and tell her there is no room for her in your life anymore!!